2:31pm: Gathered are Keith Cottom, Matthew Marcelli, Jonathan Hart, Michael Trill, Kevin Rayer, Sean Kelly, William Pohlig, Timothy Dougherty, Mark Marcelli, Sergeant Slaughter and Christopher Crooks. The group surrounds the television, cheering on the Phillies as they continue their fight for an NL East title and a playoff berth. Occasionally, Horse comments about being drunk and Tim eats a Mike and Ike while someone goes out of their way to make fun of him. Cottom turns to Marcelli and asks, “You ready to get this started?” Matt begins final preparations.
Tim loves these things
2:47pm: Sean “Horse” Kelly finishes dominating Cottom’s bathroom. Bill and Doc check their football fantasy stats; Bill has a much easier time because he actually knows his password. Mrs. Shannon Dougherty, Tim, needs to use the bathroom, and fearing using the bathroom around everyone else, he opts to use the basement bathroom; this solidifies ideas that Tim is a pansy.
2:51pm: The draft is scheduled for 2:30pm. The actual draft still has not begun. In other news, Sergeant Slaughter may have broken Cottom’s toilet.
2:55pm: Matt stands at the center of the living room and announces that the raffle tickets for the HEADstrong Foundation have arrived, introduces the TFL charity work for the year, HEADstrong and the toy drive, and then makes fun of Cottom for being an idiot. Matt uses Cottom’s ugly face in a sarcastic manner saying that instead of charging people for tickets, Cottom’s good looks will earn the charitable donation.
2:59pm: The coin toss commences the draft. Sergeant Slaughter calls it in the air, “tails”. The coin shows tails. Sergeant decides to take first pick, while Rayer will have the next two.
Folsom's native son
3:04pm: Again Matt leaves the War Room, “With the second pick in the TFL Draft, Kevin Rayer selects Wide Receiver Paul Middleton.” Shock again comes over the crowd. Keith Cottom, the projected number one overall is visibly upset, “If I go last I’m not playing.”
3:05pm: Finally, Cottom goes. Kevin Rayer selects Keith Cottom with the third overall pick. Moments later the elder Marcelli returns from the War Room with the fourth overall pick, concluding the second round, “With the fourth selection in the TFL Draft Sergeant Slaughter selects Offensive Lineman Tony Laughlin.” There is no response from the crowd. Keith Cottom calls Tony to congratulate him; he is elated.
3:07pm: With the fifth overall pick, the first pick of the third round, Kevin Rayer selects Wide Receiver Mark Marcelli. This pick pits the Marcelli brothers against one another.
The Tuna lasted until the 6th pick
3:12pm: The fourth round comes to an end with the seventh and eighth overall picks: Wide Receiver Chris Crooks goes to Kevin Rayer, while Quarterback Mike Trill Sergeant Slaughter. The Draft Pool still includes Bill Pohlig, Sean Kelly, Tom Orio, Tim Dougherty, Jon Hart, and Rich DiNofia.
3:14pm: Marcelli leaves the War Room, “With the ninth overall pick, Team Rayer selects Lineman/Quarterback Tim Dougherty.” Tim smiled quietly, while Shannon Dougherty slapped a bitch.
3:16pm: Marcelli enters again, “With the tenth overall pick, Team Slaughter selects Wide Receiver Tom Orio. . . . just kidding, Rich DiNofia.” Everyone got a laugh out of this one; Orio was projected to go second to last or last. Mark Marcelli boos loudly at the Rich DiNofia pick.
3:18pm: Beginning the sixth round, with the eleventh overall pick, Team Rayer selects William Pohlig. To end the sixth round, the twelfth overall pick is Jonathan Hart, who goes to Team Slaughter. Cottom, in particular, likes the picks so far, but still looks concerned.
3:21pm: Only two men remain, Sean Kelly and Tom Orio. With the second to last pick, Kevin Rayer selects Tom Orio, leaving Sean Kelly to Team Slaughter. I personally don’t like this pick. I believe Horse would have been a much better choice.
3:25pm: A SURPRISE MOVE! KEVIN RAYER AND SERGEANT SLAUGHTER WORK OUT A TRADE. RAYER RECIEVES MIKE TRILL AND JONATHAN HART, WHILE SLAUGHTER RECEIVES KEITH COTTOM AND TIM DOUGHERTY. Unbelievable! Jon Hart stepped outside for three minutes, and within that time frame he is drafted and traded. It is the first trade in the history of the TFL.
| 2007 TFL Draft | ||
| Round | Team Sergeant | Team Rayer |
| 1 | 1. Matt Marcelli | 2. Paul Middleton |
| 2 | 4. Tony Laughlin | 3. *Keith Cottom |
| 3 | 6. Tuna | 5. Mark Marcelli |
| 4 | 8. *Mike Trill | 7. Chris Crooks |
| 5 | 10. Rich DiNofia | 9. *Tim Dougherty |
| 6 | 12. *John Hart | 11. Bill Pohlig |
| 7 | 14. Sean Kelly | 13. Tom Orio |
| *TRADED | ||
3:36pm: Team Rayer changes their name to “The Sand Naggers”. They chose this because Rayer likes to hang out in sand boxes and bother people.