"Sorry Im Late": Turkey Bowl VII
posted Thursday November 30th, 2006 by Crooks
On a day marked by rain and player lateness, two men most definitely showed up on time: Rich DiNofia and Kevin Rayer. DiNofia, of the Doc F*ckers, and Rayer, of Team Zissou, combined for an unprecedented 7 touchdowns (three from Rayer, four from DiNofia). As James Lipton would say, "Their performance was simply stunning." I would have to agree. Nominations for Best Actor, Kevin Rayer, and Best Supporting Actor, Rich DiNofia have been handed out. But we can't just focus on the stars, let's take a look at the rest of the cast.

I've delayed speaking of it for a whole paragraph now, but it's time to give him his props. . . Sean "Horse" Kelly scored a touchdown this past Thursday; the first touchdown of his career. What a birthday gift to both himself and his team. Congratulations Horse and Happy Birthday.

Now for the meat and potatoes, the game itself.

Keith Cottom was once a gain a dominant force on the line
Scoring was opened up quickly when Doc F*cker Matt Marcelli recovered a Team Zissou fumble beyond the pylons. Marcelli capitalized on a hectic snap between Zissou Captain Keith Cottom and Zissou QB Tim "Two Quarters and Two Pennies" Dougherty. After an average at best series from Team Zissou, Doc F*ckers got the ball back and QB Bill Pohlig hit Rich "The Raccoon" DiNofia for a touchdown. At this point the Zissou future looked bleak. It reminded me of the time Captain Zissou's friend was eaten by the Jaguar Shark. Team Zissou was down, but not out. The Red Hatters scored three straight scores (two to Rayer, one to Horse) and quickly took the lead. This lead change was attributed to the arrival of Kevin Rayer; he, Middleton, and Slowbet showed up about 45 minutes late. With the arrival of new personnel both Zissou and Doc F-ers were breathing new life. Rayer would become Team Zissou's go to man, and Middleton would take over at QB for the F*ckers. Scores from DiNofia, Crooks, and Mark Marcelli would bring the game to the half with Team Zissou leading 5-3.


Is this kid ever sober?
DiNofia would continue his reign through the second half, scoring two more touchdowns and tying the game at 5, but Team Zissou would not be denied. Mark Marcelli, Chris Crooks, and Kevin Rayer renewed their trips to the end zone by all scoring once in the second half; Rayer would have the winning touch down. Despite excellent games from Rich DiNofia, Matt Marcelli, Tony Laughlin, Paul Middleton, Bill Pohlig, and Jonathan Hart, the Doc F*ckers would fall three points shy of Team Zissou; Zissou would capture the win 8-5.

The showdown should provide an interesting draft for next year. Expect DiNofia and Rayer to move up in draft position, as well as Mark Marcelli, Matt Marcelli, Chris Crooks, Paul Middleton and Mike Trill. It was a great game.

On a side note, nobody is quite sure of the fate of Team Zissou Lineman known only as Tuna. Tuna did not show up until the final minute of the game, leaving his fellow lineman, Keith Cottom, to do all the blocking and rushing of the quarterback on his own. It must be said that Cottom did an admirable job, recording a number of sacks and providing great protection. Still, the question remains, what will become of Tuna?

TFL Leaders
Team Zissou Passing
C/ATT PCT TD INT
M. Trill 27/53 50.9 7 1
T. Dougherty 0/8 0.0 0 1
Doc F*ckers Passing
C/ATT YDS TD INT
P. Middleton 15/30 50.0 3 1
B. Pohlig 5/19 26.3 1 0
T. Orio 0/3 0.0 0 1
Team Zissou Receiving
REC TD
K. Rayer 10 2
C. Crooks 8 2
M. Marcelli 6 2
T. Dougherty 2 0
S. Kelly 1 1
Doc F*ckers Receiving
REC TD
R. DiNofia 9 4
M. Marcelli70
B. Pohlig10
P. Middleton10
T. Orio10
T. Laughlin10
Team Zissou Defense
SACKFUM RECINTTD
K. Cottom2000
M. Marcelli0100
K. Rayer0011
M. Trill0010
Doc F*ckers Defense
SACKFUM RECINTTD
M. Marcelli1101
T. Laughlin1000
B. Pohlig0010
P. Middleton0010
Countdown to Turkey Bowl XXVII
 
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