It has come to my attention that TB 7 has some very intriguing personal matchups ala McNabb/Owens. Lets check them out:
Matt vs Crooks
Let me start by saying this. No personal information will be disclosed and the root of the problem will not be discussed, but we all know its there so let's talk about it. The tension has built up over the last 6 months and it will come to a head on Thanksgiving day.
Marcelli has been relentless in his training regiment, claiming to be in the best shape of his life. He clearly has the advantage in the motivation department.
Crooks is known for his speed and is always in shape. He plays a less physical, more speed oriented game that might be tough for Marcelli to lay any big hits. Think Ray Lewis and El Dorado Owens in '04. While Marcelli has been training, Crooks is in shape and has been seen numerous times at the Milmont drinking with his lovely fiance Jenna. He was also spotted at 1 AM last Saturday night at Dunkin' Donuts.
Advantage: Marcelli; there's a lot of pent up aggression here. I see at least one Roy Williams/Dawkins style hit happening here.
Tuna vs Tony
Let's get to the meat and potatoes match up. This is where the game is won or lost in most cases.
Tuna comes in with alot of angst after not being chosen first overall as Mel Kiper and every other draft guru predicted. He was quoted as saying "Tony obviously is blowing Hart because he knows I'm the numba one stunna." He'll be out there with something to prove as Reggie Bush is after his draft day snub.
Tony on the other hand believes that the right choice was made. With a little more agility he may be a defensive match up problem for
Team Zissou. Let me tell you, in our meetings this week he was relentless on proving to the world that he is "THE #1 DRAFT PICK"
Advantage: Tuna, too much size and quickness with a wealth of football skill and knowledge.
Cottom vs Pohlig
Carter and McGrady, Vick and Brooks,
Cottom and
Pohlig? In this epic match up of family members the boys will be seperated for the first time in their careers. Pohlig has been a bit of a mentor for Cottom since his draft year. Now Cottom looks to show his mentor what he's learned by chasing him all over the backfield. Both out of shape and much over the weight of their high school sports playing days (well, maybe not Cottom) this will clearly be a battle of heart, will and intelligence. Cottom has been seen hugging and kissing every girl at every bar in Delaware County on their cheek. While Pohlig has been seen in North Philadelphia for some strange reason and passing out at the Bullens Lane Wawa.
Advantage: Pohlig, clearly the better athlete. Cottom will get his shots in but Pohlig will triumph in the end. Look for John Hart to factor in here.
Horse vs His Vagina
Our final matchup pits
Horse against his fat Vagina. The Vagina has clearly had the advantage in this one over the last four years as Horse has been seen at previous Turkey Bowls drinking Miller Lite bottles with the females. He will look to overcome that this year by lacing them up and getting into the game. Horse has been seen running wind sprints in his back yard with his sister Megan, in training for the game.
Advantage: Vagina, look for the box to take this one as it'll take one hit on the cold day to take Horse out of his game.
