My surprising return
Posted By: #comingforyoubitches
11/5/13 at 12:38 PM
It's great that you pick the teams at the field now. I can't wait to get back on the field, I am in training. It's sucks that you bitches don't play tackle anymore. Crooks your a bitch
Posted By: Matt
11/5/13 at 01:22 PM
Great, can't wait to have you back.
Posted By: Your a bitch Matt
11/5/13 at 01:34 PM
I have score on you before and I will again. Bitches will need stitches once I am done with you.
Posted By: X factor
11/5/13 at 01:43 PM
What a joke
Posted By: Matt
11/5/13 at 01:49 PM
You are X-Factor, saying this topic is a joke? Or you are saying X-Factor is a joke? The concept of this message board really isn't that hard.
Posted By: Matt
11/5/13 at 01:58 PM
I am a bitch, that is scared to play tackle. My little brother use to hit me so hard, that's why we don't play tackle anymore. Please don't hurt me.

Bitches get stitches
Posted By: lenny delco
11/5/13 at 02:08 PM
good use of hashtags
Posted By: Trill
11/5/13 at 04:25 PM
I am a bitch. I like to leave my hair long to play dress up. Someone please rip my hair out this year.

Bitches get stitches
Posted By: Matt
11/6/13 at 08:47 AM
Let's see if we can figure out who you are based on the clues you've given thus far.

You say you've played before, so you are one of the people below:

Blake, Dan
Bucella, Tuna
Caldwell, Ken
Childs, Mike
Cipalone, Vince
Cottom, Keith
Crooks, Chris
Detweiler, Derek
DiNofia, Rich
Doubet, Joe
Dougherty, Tim
Graff, Matt
Graff, Sean
Hart, Ian
Hart, Jon
Kaufmann, Tim
Kelly, Sean
Laughlin, Tony
Marcelli, Mark
Middleton, Paul
Orio, Tom
Pohlig, Bill
Rayer, Kevin
Simcox, Joe
Trill, Mike


But you also say you've scored before, so that limits the list to:

Bucella, Tuna
Cottom, Keith
Crooks, Chris
Detweiler, Derek
DiNofia, Rich
Doubet, Joe
Dougherty, Tim
Hart, Ian
Kaufmann, Tim
Kelly, Sean
Laughlin, Tony
Marcelli, Mark
Middleton, Paul
Pohlig, Bill
Rayer, Kevin
Trill, Mike

And your "My surprising return" and "back on the field" wording implies that you did not play last year. Which means that you are one of:

Bucella, Tuna
Detweiler, Derek
Doubet, Joe
Kaufmann, Tim
Laughlin, Tony
Pohlig, Bill
Posted By: Matt
11/7/13 at 11:19 AM
Let me see if I can figure out who is picking on me because it is bothering me so much

Nope wrong. I'm none of those people

Bitches get stitches
Posted By: Crooks
11/7/13 at 02:57 PM
I am a bitch that sucks at football and gives up 10 touchdowns a game. I cry because people make fun of me on the message boards
Posted By: Crooks
11/7/13 at 02:57 PM
Oh yeah, bitches get stitches
Posted By: Comfyinclifton
11/7/13 at 05:58 PM
Who the fuck is Tim Kauffman?
Posted By: Tom
11/8/13 at 07:29 AM
I'm a little bitch who's scared to play. Owe my neck hurts. Yeah right. Man up and line up you pussy

Bitches get stitches on Thanksgiving
Posted By: Horse
11/8/13 at 11:36 AM
One bitch (crooks), two bitch(Matt), three bitch (gay-factor), four (Trill), I better if I look I can find some more.

Little phish boy is now making the bitch list. Does he actually even play?

Bitches get stitches
Posted By: Bitchesgetstitiches
11/11/13 at 09:23 AM
I am going to review all the rest of the player profiles this week. I have a feeling there will be some additions.

Bitches get stitches
Posted By: Bitchesgetstitches
11/11/13 at 09:56 AM
Non bitch list : Mark: the kid started playing at age 15. One of the better hitters on the field.
Keith: one of the strongest players on the field. Also can score TDs.
Paul catch me if u can Middleton: the kid broke his nose, stopped bleeding with a tampon. Played on
Tuna; he is a beast, can do anything on the field. Knock gay-factor out in five mins with a neck injury
Derek: highest production from a player ever. You couldn't tackle the kid.
Bill: he delivers punishing cheap shots.
Tony: solid lineman shows up to play, with a bad shoulder/knee.

Non bitches won't get stitches
Posted By: Horse
11/11/13 at 12:40 PM
I'm really excited to play with you bitchesgetstitches. Whose team are you on?
Posted By: Horseneedsstitiches
11/11/13 at 03:07 PM
They pick the teams at the field phish boy
Posted By: Carsgetgas
11/11/13 at 07:43 PM
Keith: one of the fattest players on the field. Also can score cocaine.
Paul catch me if u can Middleton: the kid broke his hymen, stopped bleeding with a tampon. Played on
Tuna; he is a priest, can do anything to alter boys. Knock gay-factor out in five mins with a reach around
Derek: highest masturbation production from a player ever. You couldn't tackle the kid unless he was in his knees jerking off in the shower
Bill: he delivers punishing liquor shots before driving
Tony: solid lineman shows up to play, with a bad shoulder/knee and hairline
Posted By: Matt
11/11/13 at 08:07 PM
Dear bitchesgetstitches,

Can you please confirm that you are a one time player, who did not play last year, but is making their return in 2013?

If so, care to tell us your identity? If not, can we play a game of Guess Who to try and figure out who you are?

"Does your person wear an eye patch?"
Posted By: Bitchesgetstitches
11/12/13 at 10:18 AM
Yes you are correct bitch, I didn't play last year. You can guess all you want, the only way to find out is show up at the field. I hope we are on opposite teams. I cant wait to bitch slap you Matt.

Free bitch slaps provided
Posted By: Matt
11/12/13 at 11:17 AM
You didn't answer my question, do you wear an eye patch?

And personally, I still think this is someone just joshin' around. But if you are a former player making a triumphant return I'm gonna guess that this is..... Tuna?
Posted By: Carsgetgas
11/12/13 at 07:06 PM
Free bitch slaps? Count me in. If this guys passing out bitch slaps to players on thanksgiving you know he's not bill cause that guy only hits girls. Wonder who does the slapping on colston? bill or Tony?
Posted By: Carsgetgas
11/13/13 at 09:47 AM
Crooks remember that time when bill knocked you out? You had a black eye the next day right? Plus you even apologize to bill for him knocking you out?
Posted By: dicknballz
11/13/13 at 12:26 PM
Dont even think about showing up at Prichard field on thanksgiving. me and my boys are playing there. unless you want trouble stay home and watch the parade.
Posted By: Crooks
11/13/13 at 12:30 PM
People need to stop posting as other people.
Posted By: highschoolshower
11/13/13 at 12:43 PM
I miss your crooks
Posted By: Bitchesgetstitches
11/14/13 at 07:41 AM
New additions to the list

Doc: he make the list not because he a bitch, but because he always bitches. Every year he complains about some play during the game.

Rich: the kid is a 170 pound bitch, prob the happiest player that the game turn to touch.

Bitchesgetstitches
Posted By: Matt
11/14/13 at 10:23 AM
Ok, we get it.
Posted By: Crooks
11/14/13 at 10:43 AM
One day, Heaven suddenly became extremely full, and something had to be done. So The Lord decided to have St. Peter wait at the gate and ask everyone how they died. If it was a grisly story they told, they could go ahead into Heaven. But if not, they had to go to Hell.

The first man walks up and St. Peter tells him what's happening. "You see, Heaven is quite full today, and we have to ask everyone how they died. If it sounds good, you can go ahead. But if not, you go to Hell."

"Ok," the man says. "Well, for awhile I'd been suspecting my wife of cheating on me. So today I thought I'd leave work early and catch her. Sure enough, I got to my apartment and she was lying
naked on the bed. I ran all over the apartment searching for the man but couldn't find him.

Then I remembered that we lived on the 25th floor of an apartment building, and we have a balcony. And there was the man, hanging off my balcony. I beat at his hands and he just wouldn't let go, so I ran and got a hammer and beat his hands until he fell into the bushes below. I saw he was still alive so I got the refrigerator and pushed over the edge on top of him. But the strain of the effort gave me a heart attack and I died.

"Wow!" St. Peter said. "That really is bad! You can go ahead..."

The next man walked up and St. Peter gave his spiel about Heaven being full and the man would have to tell his story.

"Ok," the second man said. "So I live on the 26th floor of an apartment building, and everyday I do exercises on my balcony. Well, today I fell over the edge, but luckily I caught the railing of the balcony below me."

"Suddenly, this man came running out and started beating at my hands. He ran back inside and I thought I was safe, but then he came back out with a hammer and beat my hands again. I finally
fell off, but luckily I landed in the bushes below and they saved my life. But that wasn't enough for the man because he pushed his refrigerator over the edge and it landed on me and killed me.
And now I'm here."

"Wow, that's a good one too! You can go ahead..."

The third man walked up and St. Peter again gave his spiel about Heaven being full and the man would have to tell his story of how he died.

"Ok," the third man said. "I don't know what happened. I was hiding naked inside this refrigerator..."
Posted By: RaTsGeTbAtS
11/15/13 at 10:23 AM
worst post ever right there crooks, dont be scared that your 135 lb frame cant handle tackle so thats why we had to go to touch. Do you shop at gap kids for your clothes since you cant handle the BIG BOY store?
Posted By: Crooks
11/15/13 at 10:32 AM
The Children's Place, much bigger selection. Springfield Mall Gap Kids is only a real small section of the store, while the Children's Place has much more in my size.
Posted By: Matt
11/15/13 at 10:38 AM
I have no idea who is actually who anymore.

Was that the real Crooks?

Am I the real Matt?
Posted By: mattsDARKnutsac
11/15/13 at 01:52 PM
Hey guys... im just hanging around. Anyone else think matt has the smelliest asshole in the world? also... whats the deal with his hemorrhoids?! Everytime i look back there it looks like his asshole lips are chewing bubalicious. Totally disgusting. Its hard being a nutsac sometimes
Posted By: Matt
11/15/13 at 02:01 PM
I do not have hemorrhoids.