| The Woman Of The TFL on Kevin Rayer | |
| Posted By: Stuart Scott 10/15/09 at 04:40 PM | I recently received a letter from a wife of a present TFL player, concerning her husbands
health in this upcomming turkeybowl game. She was only concerened of what Kevin “The Dime” Rayer was going to do to her husband. So I decided to dig a little bit deaper into the situation concerning this fear. So I traveled to the home town of the one they call Rayer. My first stop was on 7th ave in Milmont only blocks from the beast lair, to interview Matt “McDrops” Marcelli’s wife to be Steph “Get Some Rayer!!!!” Haley. I asked her about this upcomming historic tenth turkey bowl and what she thought of the game and she replied, “He keeps getting bigger, faster and so good looking as each year goes by.” I then asked who she was talking about and she said, “Look retard there’s God, Jesus, and then Rayer”. I took the insult as a comliment and left heading to Edgewood Ave in Folsom. I was greeted by a lovely woman by the name of Courtney Nist. I asked who is your spouse and she replied, “Tom Orio Nist, bitch didn’t change his name yet”. So then I proceeded to ask her what she thought of Kevin Rayer but before I could finish she started sobbing, and said she knew why I was here, she then frantically started running in a circle screaming, “Please don’t hurt him Rayer please!!!!!!” I asked what her husband could do to maybe stop this world of hurt from occuring. “Baby” she says, “Tom would have to offer our 1st unborn child to Rayer, in fact Rayer if you are reading this that is our offer….I’m sorry Rayer…I’m sorry!”. I left before the Halloween decorations (past TFL players heads) that Rayer had hung around the Nist household fell on top of me. I proceeded to the household of Tim “Rayer gutted me” Dougherty. I knocked on the door only to find answering the door was Kate Gallagher naked wearing only an apron. She says, “Oh sorry thought you were Rayer” she welcomes me into the living room an tells me to make myslef at home, She skips into the kitchen and comes back with a baking tray with chocolate chip cookies, an italian grinder, a shot of wild turkey, a car bomb, and a CL smoothie. I ask, “What is this”, and she replies, “The breakfest of a true champion; Kevins favorite meal”. So I asked what she thought of Rayer and she said, “Imagine Jerry Rice and Usain Bolt met- and had a baby. And then meanwhile Brian Dawkins and Wilt Chamberlainmet met and had a baby, and by some miracle, those two babies met and fucked - RAYER would the shit that they birthed.” I understood Rice, Bolt, and Dawkins but why Chamberlain and she answered, “Because as Chamberlain had sex with over an estimated 20,000 woman over his career, most of them being black, and so has Rayer”. Reporting for ESPN this is Stuart Scott now back to you Chris Berman, “THERE GOES RAYER WHHOOOPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” |
| Posted By: Crooks 10/15/09 at 06:20 PM | He's on the other team, but that was pretty funny; very grammatically challenged, but funny none the less.
DRINK MY, BUM BUM BUM BUM, AFRICAN BEER! |
| Posted By: Tuna 10/15/09 at 07:23 PM | [No Message] |
| Posted By: Tuna 10/15/09 at 07:24 PM | That was a long post |
| Posted By: Orio 10/21/09 at 11:15 PM | way too long. I stopped after the third sentence. |