| Unpaid Parking Ticket |
Posted By: Dewey Beach PD
11/2/08 at 08:35 PM |  To Whom It May Concern: My name is Sergeant Jameson of the Dewey Beach, DE Police Department. I am posting on this message board because I know that it is frequented by one Mr Derek Detweiler.
Mr Detweiler, a little over 3 months ago a ticket was issued to a car that was registered to your girlfriend... this ticket has gone unpaid. We're just letting you know that if said ticket is not paid in full by Thanksgiving we'll take the $87.50 out of your ass. (To speed up the process, please have your anal cavity lubed up on Thanksgiving morning so that our batons can slide in and out easier) |
Posted By: Dewey Beach PD
11/3/08 at 07:32 AM | This message was approved by:
 |
Posted By: Dewey Beach PD
11/3/08 at 08:07 AM | PS: Mr. Detweiler, next time you are in Dewey Beach and desperately need to use the bathroom we will be unable to help you here at the police station. Our cameras show that you attempted to rape Mr. Crooks while you were using the facilities. Luckily Mr. Crooks, being your athletic superior, fought you off and broke your already disfigured nose. |
Posted By: Tuna
11/3/08 at 03:07 PM | Your running out of good material crooksy.....maybe someone will have some suggestions about writers block.... |
Posted By: Crooks
11/3/08 at 04:12 PM | Well Tuna, you mastermind and Rhodes Scholar, I didn't start this thread. So instead of criticizing me, since you're a Harvard Scholar and Pullitzer Prize winning author, why don't you work on figuring out how you plan on blocking two people at once since you other lineman is Orio.
PS: if you need any help figuring out what the Pullitzer is or what a Rhodes Scholar is just give me a call and I'll help you out. |
Posted By: Horse
11/3/08 at 05:10 PM | RTR
RTR
RTR
WE ARE!
WE ARE!
WE ARE! |
Posted By: Matt
11/3/08 at 07:32 PM | I would welcome an article written by Tuna with open arms. As long as it was well written and interesting I would definitely post it, your team needs a voice.
PS - Articles can be written & submitted by anyone, its not just limited to me and Crooks; its just that we're the only two who write them. Bill wrote one a couple years ago that was pretty good. |
Posted By: Tuna
11/4/08 at 11:21 AM | Im a blocker not a blogger. |
Posted By: Matt
11/4/08 at 11:42 AM | ZING! You're witty reply right there just proved that you could be a very effective internet writer if you put your mind to it. |
Posted By: Orio
11/4/08 at 11:59 AM | Crooks, if you think you can do better at line than me, why dont you see me in the trenches where the real men play football. |
Posted By: Tuna
11/4/08 at 03:20 PM | Forrest Gump was a Rhodes Scholar right? |
Posted By: crooks
11/4/08 at 03:26 PM | Tommy, Tommy, Tommy. I have a little thing called athleticism. Now because of this, I'm going to be used in coverage against your athletic receivers. But, just to humore you, at least a couple of times, I'll line up in the trenches and speed rush the shit out of you. You see, I won't be down in all fours or anything. I'll give myself two or three yards, line up as a linebacker, and run full speed in your direction, or run full speed right around you. As you backpedal to compensate, I'll be running forward, probably reaching you after a five yard sprint. Now I am giving up roughly 80 pounds to you, but, in terms of muscle mass, you're probably giving up about 80 pounds to me. So, looking at things legisticly, factoring in speed and strength, I think I could take you in the trenches. |
Posted By: crooks
11/4/08 at 03:32 PM | Tom. . .
PS. the beauty of having three real lineman in comparison to your team's one is that I can talk shit to you and never have to worry about playing in the trenches. On the other hand, you have to worry about blocking cottom, tony, and hart. I don't envy you at all, except for the fact you were in Hawaii. |
Posted By: Orio
11/4/08 at 04:02 PM | last time you played line you were concussed in freshman football. I seem to remember you puking on the bus ride home from Radnor. |
Posted By: crooks
11/4/08 at 04:03 PM | that was on a kickoff tom, get your facts straight, although i was concussed and did puke my brains out |
Posted By: Orio
11/4/08 at 04:05 PM | p.s. do you think i would back pedal if you ran at me?
Does a redwood move when a gnat flys in its direction? It a rhetorical question..
the answer is NO pusey!!! |
Posted By: crooks
11/4/08 at 04:07 PM | i didn't know my name was "pusey" now. Should my first name be John and should I join the swim team at Ridley High school and get a DUI riding my bike? |
Posted By: Orio
11/4/08 at 06:06 PM | haha. didnt that guy have frosted tips and have a gay accent? |
Posted By: Matt
11/4/08 at 06:08 PM | Did Crooks just drop a John Pusey reference??? First person to post a picture of him (a real pic, not a cartoon, so its gonna take some detective work. Scan an old yearbook, take a pic of said yearbook with your cell phone and upload it, whatever) gets one free TBIX shirt. |
Posted By: crooks
11/4/08 at 06:36 PM | i checked, he doesn't have a facebook |
Posted By: Bill
11/4/08 at 07:36 PM | 
Done and done |
Posted By: Matt
11/4/08 at 09:07 PM | Winner, winner, chicken dinner |
Posted By: Orio
11/4/08 at 09:15 PM | i love this message board. Again, I am laughing hard enough for Courtney to ask what I am laughing at from another room. |
Posted By: Bill
11/4/08 at 09:49 PM | 
 |
Posted By: Matt
11/4/08 at 10:50 PM | Laughlin looks like such a meat head |
Posted By: crooks
11/5/08 at 05:20 AM | rich's picture is inbetween lauralee dickens and milena dobrikovik, that's awesome |
Posted By: Orio
11/5/08 at 10:53 AM | me, Tony & Bill have the same hair do. but Bill Crushes us |
Posted By: Tuna
11/5/08 at 03:32 PM | Ahh its about time some good stuff on the board...Tony already looks like he has a tupe(i have no idea how to spell that) on. Pohlig might be the funniest looking kid I have ever seen in my entire life, i know you parents still dressed u and everything bro but come on what with the hair. And horse is just a meer pony but looks exactly the same. Hart looks like an O'Doyle from billy madison....O'DOYLE RULES!!!!!! |
Posted By: Bill
11/5/08 at 03:37 PM | Tuna you might not recognize it, its a nice collared shirt. As for the hair I have no excuse. It got alot worse too |
